During your pregnancy it is easy to feel a range of emotions from excitement to anxiety. Often, we cannot make sense of our emotions and the changes that are happening within us. Its important to have a supportive circle around you during this time whether its your husband or friends and family. A positive relationship can make you feel heard and at ease especially if you have complications during your pregnancy. A negative relationship may make you feel under valued and vulnerable.
Its very normal for couples to argue even if you have a positive relationship and healthy pregnancy. Problems can range from intimacy during pregnancy, financial issues, or the stress of becoming a parent. Making the change from being a couple to parents is something not everyone copes with easily and it may take time to adjust to the idea of the new responsibility you will both have.
It’s a good idea to talk to each other about how you feel and the expectations you have about the future with your baby, how you can support each other and what kind of parents you want to be. Take time to listen to each other and to find a way to be understanding of each other’s points of view. Try to think of practical ways to help each other rather than being negative.
If you are finding that the problems are getting too overwhelming and impacting your mental health and pregnancy you might want to consider looking into getting relationship advice or counselling. This gives you the opportunity to talk to a trained counsellor and having a third person view rather than your problems building up.
For many couples splitting up will be the only option and this can be very difficult when you are expecting a baby. The charity Gingerbread supports single parent households about
- financial support
- housing
- you and your child’s wellbeing.
If you are in an abusive relationship during your pregnancy, please seek urgent help. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, whatever your age, background, gender, religion, or ethnicity. Around 1 in 3 women are affected by domestic abuse when they are pregnant. This may happen for the first time in pregnancy or existing abuse may get worse during pregnancy and after birth.
Domestic abuse is a criminal offence. If you or your family are in immediate danger, call 999. If you're unable to talk, press 55 after dialling. You can also call 101 in a non-emergency situation to report previous incidents or get advice. The Freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge. Call 0808 2000 247 for free, confidential advice. You can also visit Women’s Aid and find local service in your area for support.
Where possible you may also need support and help from other family members or friends. This can relieve some of the pressure from you when it comes to household chores or taking care of other children you have. If you are not in a relationship you may want to consider taking a friend or family member with you to your antenatal appointments and scans to provide you with extra support and guidance.